Widowhood in the Workplace: A Conversation for International Widows’ Day

With International Widows’ Day on June 23rd, I find myself reflecting on an experience that reshaped how I think about workplace leadership and support. When my husband was ill, I was fortunate to work for an executive director, and an organization, The Jacques Pépin Foundation, that offered flexibility and understanding at the height of his illness.

In my case, the understanding of family responsibilities was simply part of the culture. Leaders didn’t need a policy to dictate the response; they trusted employees and responded with empathy, the “E” in AFP’s core values of FORGE, and flexibility when it mattered most.

That support didn’t just help me manage caregiving; it also helped me transition to widowhood. The experience made me realize how much a manager and an organization can shape whether employees survive or struggle through long-term challenges. I realize that not everyone works somewhere with this kind of culture.

Too often, widowhood in the workplace is treated as a single moment with sympathy cards, flowers, and maybe a handful of days off. For most women, widowhood is rarely sudden. It is usually the final stage of a long period of caregiving. Data shows that about 91% of surviving spouses provided at least some direct care to their partner before their partner’s passing (Health and Retirement Study, 2019).

For those of us working in philanthropy — a sector that prides itself on equity and human dignity — this is not just a personal story. It is a workforce issue with quantifiable impact including retention, diversity in leadership positions, and the overall health of our organizations.

What the Path from Caregiving to Widowhood Looks Like in Real Life

Caregiving profoundly changes a professional’s life long before bereavement occurs. Employees may decline promotions, shift into less visible roles, miss networking and professional development opportunities, experience prolonged stress and health impacts, or remove themselves from the workforce temporarily or permanently.

By the time the loss occurs, many individuals are already behind professionally, financially, emotionally, and personally. In philanthropy, where women make up around 69% of the workforce, this can quietly narrow and negatively impact advancement opportunities and reinforce inequities.

Why Support Matters

Many organizations respond to widowhood with a week of bereavement leave, with many still offering only a few days of paid bereavement leave. A week does not address years of caregiving strain, which leaves many employees without the support they need to manage the long-term impact of caregiving and loss (Society for Human Resource Management, 2023).

Widows in the workforce are not fragile. They are crisis managers who have navigated complex systems and sustained performance under prolonged stress. But even the strongest employees feel the long-term effects.

Philanthropic organizations champion caregivers in the communities they serve. Designing workplace cultures that acknowledge the caregiving-to-widowhood path strengthens retention, supports leadership diversity, and reflects the values we promote as a sector, including Fairness, Openness, Respect, Grace and Empathy (FORGE). Widowhood is not a moment of loss; it is often the culmination of years of invisible strain.

This is just one of the issues that the Women’s Impact Initiative Committee of the Association of Fundraising Professionals brings to light. How do we remove barriers, support more gender diversity in senior leadership positions, and ensure that women in philanthropy can not only survive but ultimately thrive even during life’s most challenging transitions? By bringing awareness to the caregiving-to-widowhood pathway, philanthropic organizations can model the Inclusion, Diversity, Equity and Access (IDEA) leadership principles and practices that AFP champions for the sector.

How Philanthropy Leaders Can Lead Change

Recognizing widowhood as the final stage of a long caregiving journey allows leaders to move from reactive sympathy to openness and empathy for thoughtful solutions.

One important step is normalizing caregiving in the workplace. When leaders acknowledge caregiving responsibilities openly, they create space for employees to discuss challenges and find solutions that work for both the individual and the organization. Flexible schedules, remote work, and simple honest communication can make an enormous difference.

Another step is expanding bereavement leave into transitional support. Paid leave should reflect the reality of the transition, not just until after the funeral. Widows often need time to meet with children, advisors, and financial professionals to settle estates and reorganize their lives. A single week rarely allows someone to process both the emotional and practical changes that follow a loss. Organizations that want to be employers of choice should consider making phased returns to work and temporary workload adjustments standard practice rather than exceptions

The question for leaders is not whether we can respond with sympathy after a loss. It is whether we can build workplace cultures that recognize and support the long caregiving journeys that often come before it, and ensure that the people who carry them are not left to navigate the transition alone.